Archive for the ‘Nintendo’ Category

The Old Turd Sandwich: ARMS

Friday, June 30th, 2017

Some games are just too big, too popular, or too obvious to waste a lot of your time on, and for those games Video-Tron 2000 offers THE OLD TURD SANDWICH! A much more economic way to save you, the beloved consumer, time and energy by boiling a review down into one good thing, one bad thing, and one more good thing!

In this inaugural installment of The Old Turd Sandwich, we take a look at Nintendo’s new spring-loaded Punch-Out!! replacement, ARMS!

For a lot of people it seems like Nintendo just can’t get anything right. They’re either not using their old properties correctly, not introducing new properties, or some horrible, rage-baiting combination of both.

They’ve done a lot to combat this perception lately, what with Splatoon and Breath of the Wild and all, but it feels like not that the Switch is on the market it really feels like they’ve come out guns blazing. This year alone we’re seeing the newest games in Nintendo’s two biggest franchises (Mario and Zelda, although I’m sure you knew that), a resurgence in franchises long thought dead (if you’d told me anytime within the last 7 years that we were getting both a remake of Metroid 2 and a fourth Metroid Prime game I would have done that thing where I double-take at the bottle of booze I was drinking), and a strong showing of brand new games. Games like ARMS.

ARMS is to fighting games what Splatoon is to shooters: a colorful, accessible, Nintendo-ized take on a genre they usually don’t get too into (other than Smash Brothers at least) that offers a surprising amount of depth if you want to look for it, and a good casual multiplayer experience if you’re not the kind to count frames and assign tiers to everything.

So it’s out, I have it, and I’ve spent all last week playing it (on my fancy new yellow JoyCons, because Nintendo’s best accessories are always bright yellow). Let’s give it THE OL’ TURD SANDWICH!

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Indoor Living – My Summer Games List 2016

Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

Look, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I’m a talented enough writer to think that you all need me to explain how important summer vacation was to a kid. We’ve all had them, we’ve all enjoyed them, we’ve all dreaded their passage, there’s not really much I can contribute to that conversation.

With that in mind, it’s fair to say they were just as important to me as they were you. I was never really a family of big summer plans; never went to camp (and thank fuck because I would have hated every fucking second of it if it wasn’t Space Camp), never went away for an entire summer, never even went to the ocean until much later in life – really, my big summer events that weren’t a long-weekend trip to Toronto or Chicago were largely spent sleeping in and/or eating too much at grandpa’s house.

Not that I’m complaining! Then, as now, I was a lonely young man who really valued his free time away from people, and what better way to spend that time than with video games? Any kind of break from school was, to me, the perfect time to catch up on video games and finally make some goddamn progress, whether it was Chrono Trigger or Metal Gear Solid or whatever. As a result, the majority of my most pleasant gaming memories revolve around summertime, and I try to uphold that tradition as much as I can by staying inside all goddamn summer and playing all the goddamn video games I can!

It gets a little harder as time goes by, though, because now there’s too many goddamn video games and as a result anything I want to remember having played in the summer has to compete with like twelve other games I’ve thought about getting into. To that end I’ve decided to try to keep a record of every summer game I play going forward, starting with these choice nuggets! Join me, won’t you?

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New Adventures in Hi-Def: iScan VP30 Video Upscaler Review

Thursday, May 19th, 2016

(So let’s make this obvious right off the bat – for as nerdy as this shit gets sometimes, I freely admit that this particular article is gonna get a little out there, so apologies in advance if this isn’t a subject any of you find particularly appealing. I still felt like it was information worth getting out there.)

Thanks to a recent Retronauts episode dealing with the pains of playing old video games on modern-day TVs, I found myself confronting a problem that I’d tried so hard to run from so many times before: I didn’t have a good way to play retro games on my TV.

That isn’t to say I’m for want of systems, by any means – at this point I own god knows how many Famiclones for various purposes and needs, and I’ve recently started investing heavily in Everdrives and flash carts to make sure I’ve always got whatever games I need right at hand.

But…they just never looked that great. My current (and probable future) living situation is fairly prohibitive of me owning a CRT television, or at least one worth any kind of shit. Plugging a non-HD system directly into an HDTV will never not look like pure ass, and while there are a few clone systems out there that offer HDMI output they come with their own unique problems.

So I researched my options and finally did the thing I tried to stop myself doing so many times before: I bought a video upscaler.

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