Sunday, February 26th, 2017
Hey everyone! I know I’ve been gone for forever, and while I am beyond positive nobody noticed I’m happy to come back with a somewhat new feature. Sort of.
See, a few years ago, I was briefly employed by a British gaming website called The Game Jar. It’s no longer with us now, but through my bumbling and constant need for rewrites I made a lot of friends and learned a lot about writing, both in general and specifically when it comes to video games and the other bullshit I try tackling here.
Along the way, my editor (a gentleman named Sean who I am still pleased to call my friend) stumbled upon the idea that since my Internet presence consists largely of pictures of beer and complaining about video games, why not combine the two? He suggested I make a drinking game out of it, and write rules as to when I should drink and why, and chronicle how well it goes for me. Since the beers were always new to me, and the games were either new or at least something I hadn’t touched in forever, the results generally didn’t go well.
After The Game Jar sadly folded, the idea kind of stewed in my mind until, in a jealous fit upon seeing Jeremy Parish’s “Gintendo” series (as well as a lot of Game Center CX, a series I hold dear to my heart), the idea hit me to bring Drink’n Games back as a video series so you can see my shame live and in person!
So after a few weeks of filming, editing, and hangovers, here’s the first filmed Drink’n Games. I wanted to throw up some more helpful text but frankly this thing has taken too goddamn much of my life in the first place so I’m putting the video up to kind of exist on its own terms.
They’ll get better as I do more of them. Promise.
Tuesday, September 20th, 2016
Look, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I’m a talented enough writer to think that you all need me to explain how important summer vacation was to a kid. We’ve all had them, we’ve all enjoyed them, we’ve all dreaded their passage, there’s not really much I can contribute to that conversation.
With that in mind, it’s fair to say they were just as important to me as they were you. I was never really a family of big summer plans; never went to camp (and thank fuck because I would have hated every fucking second of it if it wasn’t Space Camp), never went away for an entire summer, never even went to the ocean until much later in life – really, my big summer events that weren’t a long-weekend trip to Toronto or Chicago were largely spent sleeping in and/or eating too much at grandpa’s house.
Not that I’m complaining! Then, as now, I was a lonely young man who really valued his free time away from people, and what better way to spend that time than with video games? Any kind of break from school was, to me, the perfect time to catch up on video games and finally make some goddamn progress, whether it was Chrono Trigger or Metal Gear Solid or whatever. As a result, the majority of my most pleasant gaming memories revolve around summertime, and I try to uphold that tradition as much as I can by staying inside all goddamn summer and playing all the goddamn video games I can!
It gets a little harder as time goes by, though, because now there’s too many goddamn video games and as a result anything I want to remember having played in the summer has to compete with like twelve other games I’ve thought about getting into. To that end I’ve decided to try to keep a record of every summer game I play going forward, starting with these choice nuggets! Join me, won’t you?
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Saturday, August 13th, 2016
So it’s no surprise to anybody that I’m obsessed with Sega’s final console, some…fifteen years and change after it shuffled off this mortal coil (an event that coincided with me having to start high school, which if I were a dickhead I’d say was some representation of me having to start the journey into adulthood or something). I play mine with a frequency, and I still lug it over to a number of friend’s houses to get back on the multiplayer for a number of games – indeed, it was really the only time I could ever claim to be good at Quake III Arena, and even then it was because I had the mouse & keyboard.
The only real problem is that they just don’t last too long. I got mine shortly after launch and it’s held up fine enough so far, but browse the Internet for any length of time and you’ll see dozens of accounts of people whose Dreamcasts have just stopped reading discs, thanks to the…er…touchy specificness of the GD-ROM laser lens. And while technology has allowed us to emulate the system well enough, it still isn’t 100%, and for a long time there was no Everdrive-like solution to replacing the need for physical games, even if you’ve been able to burn pirated copies since about a month after the damn thing came out.
Until now. Thanks to an industrious young man in Poland with the patience of a saint (and the skill with a soldering iron to match), I now have access to every goddamn Dreamcast game I could ever want to play. Even that shitty fucking South Park quiz game.
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