(Straight off the bat, I 100% ripped off the format and idea for this post from Dinosaur Dracula, a blog whose author I have been a fan of for a very long time and who is much better at this than I am. Go check out his stuff if you want to see what this post is SUPPOSED to look like, or if you just want to see a grown man drink 20-year-old Kool-Aid packets!)
Recently I’ve found myself getting hardcore back into wrestling. I bring this up because it’s going to be kind of a throughline for the whole article, even if it isn’t strictly about wrestling toys. As a kid I grew up pretty staunchly pro-WCW, watching years worth of Nitro episodes (and furthering my decades-long streak of always picking the wrong side in the important kid’s pop culture battles, having also grown up preferring DC to Marvel and the Genesis to the SNES) and occasionally dabbling in WWF RAW or In Your House when I’d find myself in the company of a fellow wrestling fan, but I really drifted away from it in recent years. I can’t quite put a finger on how or why it happened, but around 2015 I suddenly found myself possessed to watch Wrestlemania that year, and ever since then I’ve been both keeping up on the new stuff and going back to revisit stuff I either watched at the time or missed out on due to reasons.
I bring this up to clarify why, exactly, I was at a car show. I’ve never really been a “car person” as such – there’s cars I like, I tend to get picky about the cars I drive, but like I don’t tend to get as excited about seeing old hot rods or NASCAR vehicles the same way an actual car person would, and as such I tend to find myself skipping the myriad car shows around Detroit.
This year was different, though. I heard through the grapevine that Autorama was going to offer a chance to get autographs from none other than the former leader of the Bullet Club, AJ Styles. As my favorite current wrestler I had to meet him. I did, it was fun, and afterwards while wandering around the show killing time I made a remarkable discovery: there were people at Autorama that sell toys. Elated by having just met the Nature Hoot, I took a poop around the weird toy corner and this is what I left with: